Go where the energy is.

This post was originally published on Substack. Join the conversation HERE!

I’ve been reflecting on the effort to ‘wake people up’ as the Supreme Court just took a blow at our checks and balances, essentially installing a president that cannot have his executive orders stopped by nationwide injunctions as our founding fathers intended for cases of constitutional violation.  

Yes, I realize that the need for people to wake up and pay attention to stop this current freight train is long past at this point.  

The truth is, most people don’t wake up, and most people don’t pay attention (enter rant about the American indulgent, self-interested, privileged culture that takes me nowhere except to cynics land). When I process it a bit further,  it actually makes me deeply sad that we aren’t taught how to be conscious in this world, conscious of each other. How to care both for ourselves AND others. How to hold the pain of tragedy AND enjoy life to its fullest. 

There’s a very specific kind of heartbreak that happens when people you’ve shared meals with… vote for cruelty. When people you grew up with post memes about “law and order” while families are torn apart and our constitution fractured. When you know, deep down, they think you’re just a little too sensitive, too radical, too much. Maybe you’ve experienced something similar?

I teach mindfulness and emotional regulation. I write about depolarization. And still, some days, I want to scream. One thing to know about me is that I’ll never pretend to be a perfectly unruffled human, because that’s not – well, human.

Rage is a normal reaction to injustice (why most people don’t pay attention – they’re lacking distress tolerance skills). Emotion is not something to bypass or shame. But here’s the trap I’ve fallen into, and maybe you have too: I start wanting to use my platform to “educate” people who aren’t ready to be reached, people who have no interest in looking or caring. I feel the old urge to school them, to shame them, to push them into seeing what I see. 

When you’ve worked on the front lines of social justice efforts for so many years, listened to countless stories of generational poverty, discrimination, trauma and more, it’s hard not to be truly pissed at the people who are committed to just stay passive. 

• Many people won’t see or feel the impact of what’s changing in this nation for years, maybe ever – especially those living within certain demographics (mine included).  All the while, many others will go through immense layers of trauma and harm.

• Many people will continue to defend the patriarchal, authority based, ever-consuming financial system – never even pausing to wonder if there are other ways. In fact, never even able to see that they exist because they are so deeply embedded in the un-questioned subconscious. 

• Many people will continue to emphasize how powerless we are to do anything about it – never waking up to the immense creative powers every one of us carries, which are magnified when we use them together.

But here’s what I’ve realized: my message is not for the people still defending harm, who don’t want to learn and grow. I am not here for the cynical. That’s exactly what oppressive systems want from us – cynicism. And while I have empathy for the use of cynicism to avoid pain, my message is for those ready to turn the corner and create more spaciousness within them to feel the wholeness of this world’s dichotomy: human faultiness AND human potential.

My message is for the people like you: the ones who care deeply, feel everything, and are struggling to stay grounded while living in a world that keeps trying to split us apart. My message is for those who want to be a part of positive social changes.

So here is my message of hope for you if you’ve been feeling anything similar. The fact that you are paying attention, that you’re feeling and that you care, means EVERYTHING.  It means the system that was built to make you go numb, detach from feeling, abandon hope of something more, turn away when abuses occur – that system didn’t work on you.

> Is there a lot of doomsday shit happening right now? Yep. We’re not going to ignore it because true consciousness does not bypass reality with doe-eyed ‘love & light’. It’s here to acknowledge, hold space and transmute. AND it’s OK to rest and be mindful of your attention and capacity.

> Is our nation going to rebound out of authoritarianism and is this just the ‘crumbling’ before better days? If you zoom out and look at history, tyranny always crumbles eventually, the question is just how long it takes and how many lives are lost which is why we must not bypass. Maybe within our lifetime, maybe not. Meditation and positive thinking alone won’t bring about societal change. It must go hand in hand with conscious action and mindful leadership.

So on that note, we have work to do – and it’s vital that we infuse the work as much as possible with humor and joy (tyranny hates that stuff). And as I start submitting my book proposal to literary agents, I’m truly hopeful that it will be a helpful part that you can also use to reduce conflict and increase consciousness in your sphere on this planet.

For now, I want you to think of your sacred anger, and think of where it is most useful.  No more spending it on the people who have no interest in becoming conscious. Go where the energy is. Focus on the small ways you can grow and contribute (more to come in this area). Dialectical practice tells us that when we push back directly against any opposite polarity, it only strengthens itself. If we want to create new systems we have to use a more strategic approach.

I’m not neutral. I’m not detached. I’m angry – and I’m learning to alchemize that anger into fuel. If you’re trying to hold that same fire without burning out, I’m glad you’re here. If you haven’t yet, be sure to listen to my Mindful Soul podcast episode ‘Women, Rest & Social Justice’. We rest, to stay empowered – not to check out.

How do you handle the tension between staying grounded and being furious?

(By the way… wanna be on my Book Waitlist?? Click HERE!)